External Validation

I admit it.  I'm one of those people.  The ones that not only crave praise but also deny and fish and act like it's no big deal just so that I can get more.  So that I can hear it again.  I know everyone likes to hear a kind word of praise, but seriously, it's like I need it.  Even when I'm aware of what I'm doing, trying to get someone to say yet again that I'm awesome, I can't seem to make myself stop.  I'm also sure that this is a completely unattractive trait.  And yet, I still do it.

I'm trying to be better.  Really.  But then I get some praise and it's like my soul is starving to hear the words and I fall right back down in the pit of trying to get more.  

Today, I was soaking in it.  And my insides were glowing with happy because of the shock and awe.  And I was standing there, trying to act like it's no big deal, but really I was totally doing a happy dance in my mind, waiting to hear some more good words.  I was aware it was happening.  And I just couldn't stop myself because that external validation that what I had done was a good thing, an impressive thing, was feeding the pride monster within.  

My goal for next time I hear the words of praise and goodness is to simply say thank you instead of saying thank you followed by an attempt to get the person to say it again.  I'm going to try very, very hard.

I need external validation.  But one comment should be enough, right? 

This Is What I Did Today

Haberdashery

Ta Da!!  I'm a haberdasher!  I've made a hat!

When I first started knitting in the round, I did it with the time honored method of double pointed needles.  I quickly discovered that it was hard to knit that way.  It took a lot of practice to make it so you weren't constantly poking yourself in the hand/arm/eye.  And I discovered that I always had the problem of a bit of "laddering" between the needles.  My stitches weren't tight enough from one needle to the next.  I thought there had to be an easier way.

Ah!  The magic loop method.  The method of using one super long circular and pulling the cable out between stitches so that half of the stitches are on either side.  I was intrigued by this and enjoyed it, but I always had the problem of a bit of laddering at the beginning of the rounds.  And also, sometimes the cable itself got unwieldy and bent in a consternating fashion.  There had to be an easier way!

My preferred method now is the best I've found yet.  Using two circular needles.  Half the stitches on one, half on the other.  It doesn't matter how many or how few stitches you have on either one because the cable always bends where you need it too.  I don't have any of the problems that I'd had previously.  It's now my go to method whenever I knit in the round.  I highly recommend it.  

This hat, as I previously mentioned, is inspired by one of my favorite sweaters.  It has four cables, all with left leaning twists, that twists ever eight rows.  The only thing I made a change to is twisting alternate cables on a different row.  Every four rounds, I twisted a cable, but only every other one.  Just to give it a bit of movement.


I offset the cables by one stitch so that it basically straddled the ribbing.  And put a panel of four stitches of stockinette between the cables.   The construction of the hat is pretty standard.  Cast on 80 stitches.  Work 2x2 rib for two inches.  Slip the first stitch of the round onto the other needle.  Knit 4, purl 4, knit 8, purl 4, repeat around.  It's on the knit 8 panels that you twist your cables.  You can do it whenever you want.  Work until the hat is approximately 6 inches (try the hat on.  I always do.  When it reaches your earlobes is about when it's time to start the decreases).  I then knit one round plain.  After that, it's standard decreasing.  Knit 8, knit 2 together all the way around.  Knit one round even.  Knit 7, knit 2 together...knit a round even.  Knit 6, knit 2 together...get my drift?  Keep doing that until you have 16 stitches.  Knit 2 together around, cut an 8 inch tail, thread it through the remaining stitches, close it up.  Ta da!  Hat!

And that's how I made Izzy's hat.  And remembered to take a picture!
    

Learn To Say No

I am not so good at that.  People ask me for things and, of course, I say yes.  And sometimes I get myself in hot water because of it.  Suddenly, there's a deadline looming and I have to scramble and stay up late and be cranky.  Most of the time, it's yarn stuff of course.  Someone wants something and the next thing I know, I've got no time (because I admittedly like to procrastinate) and I have to just get it done.  And every time I do this to myself, I swear I'm not going to do it again.  Yeah, I didn't learn my lesson once again.

I sent the BFF a text and said, "I've really got to learn to say no."  Her immediate response? "What do you have to make now?"

It's really not a big deal this time around.  One scarf.  That's it.  The ruffly kind that I made before.  Won't take me hardly any time at all.  But it's a slippery slope and the next thing I know...I'm scared that someone else will ask for something and yes will pop out of my mouth before my brain kicks in.  

I've really got to learn to say no.  I just don't know if I have it in me.  

The thing is...

The thing about time off from work is that it feels really good while it's happening and then you get to the end of it and realize that tomorrow you have to go back to work.  I keep looking at the clock thinking "Oh good, whatever o'clock.  I have plenty of time."  But the truth is, there is a part of me that's already coming down from the mini vacation high and knowing tomorrow I have to go back to work.

Now, I like my job.  It's a pretty decent way to pass the day and make money.  And I do the job to the best of my ability.  But still, I would much rather sit around all day and do nothing.  I don't know if that makes me lazy, per se, but if it does, I don't care.  I'd rather do nothing.  I'd much rather spend my time with the words and the yarn than have work time interrupt that.

Speaking of yarn, I started Izzy's hat and it's pretty.  I'm liking it.  Of course, I've already got to that point where I just don't wanna anymore.  And it's not even half done.  But in a bit I'm going to pick it up again and try very hard to finish it tonight, just so it's over.  And then I don't have to do it anymore.  

But first, I'm pretty sure I'm going to take a nap.  It is my last day off, after all.  

Guilty Pleasure

I have more than my fair share of them.  It's true.  But, in keeping with the holiday theme, I will tell you about one of my absolute favorites: holiday themed romances.

I'm a total sucker for the love story that takes place at the holidays, Christmas in particular.  Hallmark channel is great at providing multiple movies on the weekends and even during the week.  My DVR gets filled with them during this time of year.  ABC Family usually has some, too.  And of course, I buy DVD's and books galore that have the theme.  Romance set at Christmas time never fails to be a trope that I love.  It doesn't matter if the acting or writing is bad (which, fortunately, is very infrequent), I still love them.  There's the classic meeting at the right time with unforeseen circumstances keeping them together for the holiday celebration or the getting together under the guise of saying they are together to appease their families while falling unknowingly in love.  And there are the ones where an established couple strive to make the holiday special for each other, or reconnect again, or put up with the hellish family gathering while trying to stay together.

It doesn't matter what, holiday themed romances are one of my greatest guilty pleasures.  

Dreamspinner Press has a yearly "advent calendar" and releases holiday themed m/m romances at this time of year.  All are available now, but you can also buy the whole set for automatic delievery of one story a day.  It makes my day to wake up and find one waiting for me. 

Feels Like Home  by Rowan McAllister was one that made me smile because it was cute.  Eight Days by Cardeno C. was just released and I adored it.  Puppy, Car, and Snow by Amy Lane is one of my all time favorites as is her just released Turkey in the Snow.  All can be found at Dreamspinner Press.

As for movies?  Holiday in Handcuffs with Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez never fails to make me laugh.  Snow with Tom Cavanaugh and Ashley Williams is also adorable.  And there is the timeless Love, Actually which centers around the Christmas season and follows multiple characters as they navigate the waters of love.  

It doesn't matter the story, or the characters, or what brings them together.  If it's about love at Christmastime, I'm there.

Advent

It's December first and that means it's the start of advent.  Now, I still consider myself Catholic even though I haven't been to church much lately.  It has more to do with my church itself than anything else and needing to find a new one, but that's another story.  This is about advent and how it's always been my favorite time of the liturgical year.  I always loved going to church, watching the advent wreath being lit at the start of mass, the hymns we sang at this time of year, and the anticipation of getting ready to celebrate Christmas.  I'm not good at waiting, like at all, but somehow, this four weeks never bother me.

I think it's because as much as I hate waiting, I love getting ready.  And that's what its all about.  Even though I won't be doing a lot of that in church this December, I will still be preparing myself to celebrate the holiday.  And Christmas, for me, is about spending time with my family and remembering all the things the holiday is really about.  OK, yes, there will be presents but that's not the whole deal, and that's what I love.  The whole spirit of the season.  It's about giving of yourself and about family and about kindness and generosity and love.  

It's my favorite time of year.