Discipline

That's today's buzz word.

I must be disciplined.  Because, you see, the yarn for Toby's mitts came today.  And as you can imagine, all I want to do right now is get it on the needles and make his prezzie.  But I can't.  Because I have other things that need to get done first.  So, I won't.  But only because I'm disciplined.

About the yarn:  it's a little darker than I thought, which is fine, but might mean that I don't put a cable on it like I thought I was going to. Cables are awesome and show off such pretty stitches, but when the yarn is dark, it doesn't show up quite as well.  Now, this yarn has a pretty severe twist to it which makes it awesomely springy and also highlights stitch definition.  So it may work out just fine.  If I can find the right kind of cable.  We'll see.  I haven't ruled it out completely but I won't be heartbroken if I don't put one one.  At any rate, I'll put it in the box for right now because out of sight helps with out of mind.  And soon, as a reward for getting my other things done, I'll get his mitts done, too.  And they'll be better this time, I promise.

And as an aside, I received some exciting news today.  But I'm going to keep it under my hat for a bit.  I'll share when the event gets closer.  But I'm thrilled and a bit flattered and that good feeling will keep me in a happy state for several days to come. 

Effort and Reward

Petulance is a trait that I'm not proud to have and try, mostly, to curb.  When I have to do something, I don't want to do it.  So, right now, with the projects looming with deadlines I don't actually want to do it.  In fact, my brain is swirling with all these other ideas and things I do want to do.  

It's come to the point that I have to bribe myself.  If I am a good girl and yarn for the next three hours, then I can reward myself by playing on the internet, visiting the blogs I follow, and reading a book.  But only if I'm a good girl and do my work first.

With a time limit, I give myself a goal to work towards, and when I'm feeling whiny and want to put it down, I know I just have a certain amount of time left.  Once I've done what I'm supposed to then I can do what I want.  

Sad that at my age I need to do this in order to get things done.  And it's sad that something I love so much turns into a chore the instant I feel like I have to do something.  I will gladly waste hours with yarn in my hands when I should be doing something else, but the moment the yarn is what I need to be doing, it's suddenly the only thing I don't want to be doing.  I revert to a  five year old and whine and stamp my foot.

Anyway, this petulant child is taking herself off to work with the yarn.  I'm going to put in the effort so that I can get my reward.

Aw Damn!

Somehow, because of all the stuff that's been going on, I forgot one very important thing: Mom's birthday!

It occured to me, rather out of the blue this afternoon, that I have 13 days till her birthday.  It's the day after the christening.  So, in the next two weeks, I need to make something for Mom and finish the baby's blanket.  Yes, yes, I know.  I always do this to myself.  Leave things till the last minute (even though this time it was unintentional) and then scramble like a mad woman to get things done.  Fortunately, I have all that left over yarn from the lapghan I made for my coworker last month and red is Mom's signature color.  I'm making a wrap.  The pattern is easy and goes fast because it's fat yarn.  Essentially, it's just a rectangle that's 60" by about 40" with a split up the middle on the front half so it sits nicely around the neck and shoulders.

I started working on it tonight and even though I've put it aside for now, I think I'll be able to get it done by the weekend.  Or, more likely, on the weekend.  And then I have to finish that baby blanket because I want to take it in to work for show and tell.  My lunch girls would love to see it in person.  I was telling them a little bit about it today.  We like to share projects with each other to share tips and tricks we've learned while working on them.  And, of course, we love to ooh and ahh over each others talent.  

But because of the looming deadlines, I'm going to have to discipline myself a bit.  Get home and get to work.  No playing around on the internet and books are going to have to take a backseat for a bit.  My wallet will be happy about that last fact.  I've always worked well under pressure.  It's sort of my superpower.  Please, superpower, don't fail me now!

Happy Birthday Sis!

Twenty nine years ago today, I became a big sister.  When the new baby arrived, she brought me a blue purse with a cabbage patch doll face on it and I decided my parents had her just for me.  I was an obnoxious three year old, trying my mother's patience with every word that came out of my mouth, telling her how to take care of the baby.  I was precocious.

Sis and I haven't always gotten along.  But mostly we have and I love her to bits and pieces even when she's annoying the piss out of me.  She'd tell you that's her job as the little sister.  But I'm glad she's in my life.  Happy Birthday, Sis!

Since her "party" was yesterday, I showed her her present.  I was right, she did know something was up because of the whole yarn debacle, but she had no clue, no clue, what it was.  When she saw it, she nearly had a heart attach she was so excited about it.  "Kris!  OH MY GOD! Kris!  You're knitting it?!  OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!  This is awesome!"  Or something to that effect.  I was pleased.  And she said she didn't even care if it took me a year to finish it and could it please be huge so she can snuggle up in it?  I'm contemplating honoring that request and making it as long as it is wide.  We'll see. 

In other news, I ordered the yarn for Toby's fingerless mitts Saturday.  I think I only over bought a little.  But it's nice yarn so any extra can go into the stash.  It'll get used.  It's the same stuff that I used to make the Tom Baker-esque scarf so it can go in that pile and I can make another scarf someday.

Mathily Challenged

Math and I have never, ever, ever gotten along.  I don't know where the disconnect is in my brain, but even the simplest of equations baffles me and requires the use of a calculator, my fingers, and often a little outside help.  I get ridiculously happy when I managed to correctly subtract 9 from a total and nines are easy!!  But I understand my limitations and I try to work within them.

So when I started Sis's afghan, I worked up a fake gauge swatch so that I could figure out, roughly, how many stitches per inch the particular yarn and needle size gave me.  It didn't have to be exact because it's an afghan, not a garment.  I just needed an idea.  It was roughly two stitches to the inch so I cast on 150 stitches because I knew that would give me about 75 inches, which I knew is a little more than six feet.  Today, while I was working on the afghan, I decided to measure it for shits and giggles.  It's fucking eight feet wide!  Eight!  I don't know how I got an additional twenty inches of fabric, I don't.  Did I measure my gauge swatch wrong?  Was it actually three stitches to the inch and my math was all wrong?  I have no clue whatsoever.  None.  And when I realized just how wide it was, I stared at it for a good ninety seconds debating on whether or not I should frog the whole thing and start over with less stitches.  In the end, I decided to keep going making the width the length instead.  Essentially, I am now working it from side to side instead of bottom to top.

And speaking of Sis...she and Toby went out last night for some birthday celebrating. I dropped them off at the bar and then stayed up so when they called three hours later, I could go  pick their drunk asses up.  It was an incredibly entertaining ride home.  Apparently, I'm "awesome and amazing and not superfluous and wonderful and very, very loved."  It's true, I am all those things :)

Fold 'Em

Remember when I said making a plan was a bad thing?  You know how they say that thing about self fulfilling prophecies?  Yeah.  That was me last night.

OK.  I really do blame the yarn.  You see, it's really loosely spun.  And yes, I'm aware that I mentioned it several times.  But what happened was this: it kept breaking!  The third time, I was at my wits end and ready to cry.  So, I came to a very important decision.  That yarn?  It wants to be crocheted into a scarf.  It does not, I repeat does not, want to be made into fingerless mitts with the mitten flap.  In fact, I'm certain it's very highly against it.  Sometimes, you gotta know when to fold 'em.

And since you were wondering, yes, I'm absolutely aware I am anthropomorphizing the yarn.

So even though I had one mitt about three quarters done, I scrapped it.  Yeah.  Just decided it was done.  I stared at it a long while before I made that decision but in the end, it was the best thing for my peace of mind.  If I didn't want to end up a sobbing mess of girl, it had to be done.  It's all right; he really wanted green anyway.  And I can do it better than that.  I can make the cuff better, and not start the ribbing at the top quiet so soon.  And remember to put in the lifeline where I want the mitten flap to start.  Really, it was a blessing in disguise.  I wasn't entirely happy with it and now I can do it over and better.  And, aw shucks, I've got to go yarn shopping.  Shame, that.  

Maybe this time I'll put the fancy man cable up the back like I was thinking of in the first place?

At any rate, that means that tonight and the rest of the weekend, I'll be focusing back on Sis's afghan and the baby's blanket.  And doing a little celebrating of Sis's birthday. And have some family time which always makes me happy.     

Sherlock and Yarn

In the midst of all this hoopla about Sis's new blanket and the baby's blanket...and getting both of them done in time for their deadlines...I've neglected Toby's fingerless mitts.  It occurred to me today, in the bitter, bitter cold, that poor Toby doesn't have the promised fingerless mitts with the mitten flap because I totally abandoned the project. Now, it was completely unintentional.  I put them away when I was cleaning up because I didn't want them to get lost or messed up in the process...but there they sat, out of sight.  I feel really bad about it because honestly it doesn't take me that long to make them.  And I could have had them completed a while ago.  At the moment, my muse is waged in a battle with herself to try and figure out if we should abandon Sis's blanket (considering we won't get it done by Monday anyway) and try our damnedest to get Toby's mitts done.  I think he'll be stopping by this weekend, and if I push tonight and tomorrow night, I just may be able to do it.  And he really deserves to have them.  

And if I work hard on Saturday, I can still make incredibly progress on Sis's afghan and impress her with something nice to open.

I'm leery of making plans such as this though, because lately when I've made plans, they've gone to shit rather quickly.  Something or someone interrupts and then I get irrationally mad about it.  

I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't hurt to work on them tonight and then move on to something else tomorrow if he is, in fact, not stopping in this weekend.  I've got more Sherlock I can watch (I'm a little bit in love with Benedict Cumberbatch and Andrew Scott) and, if I knit at the same time, I feel much more productive with my evening. As long as I remember that it's 100% Highland Wool and that it's loosely spun, so I need to keep my tension loose as well or the yarn pulls apart.  Surprisingly, once it's knitted, it's very strong and doesn't pull apart.

Yes, yes.  I do believe this is how I will spend my evening 

Arctic Blast

When I woke up this morning, it was 2 degrees. 2!  For those of you in the rest of the world that use the much more practical Celsius, that's -16 ish.  Most of the country is caught in this below normal cold snap, but I only care that it's this cold outside my door!  Apparently it's going to hang on until next week but will then warm up again.  And, yes, at this point, 36 degrees will seem warm.  And to be honest, if I had to choose between the ball numbing cold or driving, blowing snow, I'd absolutely pick the cold.  

One of the good things about the cold is that when you're working on an afghan, it keeps you warm. In the summer, when I'm making things and the completed part is on my lap, it makes me way too warm and often deters me from working on it.  But in the winter?  That's an added bonus.  It sits there on your lap while you knit away, keeping you nice and toasty until you have to turn the work...which you do very rapidly and get the work settled again so that you can continue to benefit from the warmth.  Sis's afghan is coming along nicely and she'll need it since her bedroom is beyond frigid.  I've let go of any hopes of it being done before her birthday, which is Monday, but I do intend to get every last inch of yarn I have in my possession on the blanket before then.  It's going to be a busy weekend, I think.  I'll wrap it while it's still on the needles, I'm working on a circular to accommodate the bulk of it, so she knows that she got something in the works.  And this time?  It won't take me 11 months to get it finished!

It amuses me that right now I've got two projects in the works...and that one is crochet while the other is knit.  Best of both worlds right there.  And with the baby's blanket, its the first time I've ever done something with this particular technique of joining the motifs.  So, while not exactly a challenge, it's something new and different to keep me paying attention.  And while the pattern itself is fairly easy, I do have to give it at least half my attention or I skip stuff...which I don't realize I've done until I get to the same spot on the next round and have to frog a bunch because I did it wrong.  Let me tell you, after the second or third time that happened, I started paying better attention!

With the extra coldness going on, I find it extra comforting to be working on yarn projects.  My fanciful imagination can't help thinking of the thousands of years this exact activity has been going on.  Winter nights with ladies sitting around, making beautiful yarn things, trying to pass the time and stay warm.  Can't beat that kind of tradition!

The History of my Crafting

Most everything I've learned about the fiber arts, I've gleaned from the internet.  I consider myself mostly self taught.  Grandma tried to show me how to knit when I was young, but I just didn't take to it.  Then, when I was about ten, my cousin was living with us for a while and she was making an afghan.  I remember it was blue and white and she was crocheting it.  I idolized my cousin and I wanted to do it, too.  She taught me the single crochet.  But even then, as much as I liked it, I didn't really get into it.  When I was in high school, I started working on another blanket with all this yellow yarn I had.  But it pretty much languished until I was a junior in college.  I finally finished it then.  I taught a few other people the basics and I knew how to read a pattern.

When I was 23, I lived on my own for the first time without the cushion of dorm life.  I found Lion Brand Homespun and bought blue and white and crocheted an afghan.  Sort of.  Its way too long and not nearly wide enough.  The ends are completely uneven as I lost stitches and gained new ones.  I never even bothered to weave in the tail ends.  I had no idea what I was doing; I just sort of made it up as I went along.

And then I moved back to my home town and I decided I was going to take up the craft with purpose.  I took a free pattern off the wall and I bought the yarn and I made an afghan.  Again, I thought I knew what I was doing but I didn't really.  I lost stitches, unintentionally skipping some between the ripples.  I did half doubles where there should have been singles because, at the time, I didn't know the difference.  But by the time I got to the end of the pattern, by the time I'd completed the whole thing, I had it all figured out.  I knew what I was doing.  And as they say, practice makes perfect.

Soon, crocheting was not enough.  But I got frustrated beyond belief when I tried to knit.  It was slow and my stitches weren't even and purling was a bitch!  When I learned the Portuguese style of knitting, it was a resounding relief.  I could finally knit, just like I wanted to, and it didn't look like rubbish. I've heard from more than one person that knitters often take up crocheting, but it very rarely happens the other way around.  What can I say?  I like to be different.

Yarn has dominated my life for quite a while now.  The satisfaction of completing a project?  Nothing can compare to that.  Yes, I like the accolades I receive.  But it's the internal rush of a job well done that makes me the happiest.  I still have that moment in every project where I'm tired of doing it and I just want it done!  But there is something so soothing, so calming, about crafting something wonderful with nothing more than a strand of yarn and a hook or needle.

One day, I will be old and arthritic and my hands will no longer do what I want them to do.  When, that day comes, when I am no longer able to feed my creative soul, there will be a part of me that mourns the loss.  But until that day, I will do all that I can to overfeed my soul with the fiber arts.

And remember to take pictures.

Ready!

I have my coffee, the sweet nectar of life, in my crochet goddess mug, just for added incentive.  As the caffeine works it's way through my system, I'm planning my day.  More crocheting is on the agenda.  I made good progress on Sis's afghan yesterday, but I had to put that away before she got home from work.  She's been known to pop in, even if I'm hiding, and I don't want her to see it.  Because I know, I know, if she catches a glimpse of it, she'll know it's for her.  It's a blue green color, and it's a blanket, and it's a yarn she wants a blanket made from, and her birthday is in eight days.  So I'm absolutely certain that she'll know instantly that it's for her.  I'm also certain that I won't get it done in eight days, but I will  wrap it while it's still on the needles and give it to her that way.

But Sis does not have to work today, which means that I can't pull her blanket out of hiding and work on it at all.  That's OK though because I've got the other blanket I'm working on.  As I mentioned, the baby's blanket is made out of motifs that are joined together as they are worked.  I only got seven done yesterday, but it doesn't actually take me too long to make one.  I had to keep stopping to stare at it, questioning whether it was the right pattern to use.  You see, it's a rather lacy pattern.  And as I looked at it, all I could hear was Mom's voice says "But it's got all those holes!"  Mom is extraordinarily against holes in a blanket.  She thinks it doesn't keep you warm when they are there.  I disagree.  Maybe not as warm as a solid fabric, but still.  But she's kind of, inadvertently, made me paranoid about patterns that have holes.  But it's so pretty!  Here, I'll post a teaser pic so you can see what I'm talking about:

So, yeah.  That's a close up of what it will look like.  Pretty right?  I should totally ignore the bad voices, even if they sound like Mom, and just keep going.  In the end, I think it will be absolutely lovely and that it will be greatly appreciated.  I hope.

My Brain Actually Works

It's a fact that my brain is sometimes a weird, strange, scary place.  But today?  My brain thought of something that made me happy.  

Saturday morning and I've got errands to do: bank, get gas, go yarn shopping.  I'm thinking up my plan of attack, about going to the bank first to get it out of the way, then driving allllll the way down to the yarn store, and where in between to stop and get gas station.  I think and discard at least three different scenarios before my brain really kicks in.

Silly girl, it says in a slightly mocking voice, go to the bank out there on Buckley where there will be less of a line, then you can travel down to the plaza where there is a Joann Fabrics and an AC Moore.  No, wait!  Even better.  Travel a little further, go to Hobby Lobby.  You have that gift card.  And then, if they don't have what you want, you can stop at the plaza with the other two stores on your way back.
  
My brain is awesome!

Now, I get lost really easily (sometimes even going places I know how to get to) so I was a bit nervous.  I'd only been to Hobby Lobby once before, Sis took me, and it's not in an area I know really well.  But after a quick and painless stop at the bank, I took the road that I knew would lead me in the right direction.  And when I started to get scared that I missed the store, I remembered it seemed very far down the road and that there was a sign and a light.  And there it was!  Fortunately, I did find what I wanted at Hobby Lobby.  I got enough yarn for the baby's blanket and a couple of skeins of the stuff for Sis's.  The rest of my order still hasn't arrived and I figured out I needed a few more skeins anyway to make the whole thing.  So, at the very least, I can get more of it done before her birthday.  And I will definitely have enough to complete the whole thing.

So, I'm going to have me a Sherlock marathon (BBC version, of course) and knit and crochet until my wrist is ready to fall off.  And then, a nap!

Godmothering

Have I ever mentioned that I have a very, very, large family?  I do.  Grandma had 11 kids...there are 36 grandchildren (of which I am number 32), there are upwards of 60 great grandchildren, and at least 12 great, great grandchildren.  That's a lot of people.  

One of the great great grandchildren is about to become my goddaughter.

Last night, I received a call from my cousin, who asked me very nicely if I would be her second child's godmother.  I was so honored!  Of course, I said yes.  I've been sort of on a cloud of happy ever since.  I love this little girl to bits and pieces anyway.  And to have this honor on top of it?  I can't stop smiling.  And Brub is going to be her godfather, which is awesome and fun too!

Of course, immediately, my muse started planning a blanket to go with her christening gift.  I've found a lovely pattern that's lacy and pretty.  It's made from individual motifs that are joined as you work so that there's no sewing at the end.  I love that!  And I think I'm going to work it in a heavier weight with a bigger hook just so that it's larger.  The baby 14 months old already and I want her to get some use out of it, you know?

Look for pictures in the near future!  I've only got a month to complete it!

Piscean Angst

I don't put much stock in astrology as a whole.  But the fact of the matter is, the description of my sign is scary accurate.  Sometimes, I go searching on the web to find it, just to read a different version and find out that, once again, even the new version describes me.

The parts about being creative and sensitive are easy for me identify with.  Easy to hear, easy to believe.  Compassionate and kind I embrace.  Intuitive and sympathetic?  Absolutely.  Even most the not so flattering aspects are OK:  easily led, secretive, escapist.  

But the part about being filled with self doubt and not knowing my own worth?  That part is both true and horrifying at the same time.  I don't want to have the constant doubts and paranoia that I'm going to get in trouble for something, or that I've done something wrong, or that I should be doing something different.  It plagues me mostly at work, even when I know I'm doing the things correctly.  And I get myself all worked up.

It happens with the yarn, too.  I'll spend all this time working on something, convinced of its awesomeness and then when I've finished it and am about to give it to whomever it belongs to, I'm filled with the kind of doubt that is almost crippling.  I'm convinced that they will hate it, or it's ugly, or it just turned out very, very bad and I should just buy something instead.

And, of course, with the words.  The words which fill my head and live there and the characters and stories that take up all my brain space...when I put them on the page, I'm absolutely certain they are not good enough to see the light of day.  They are not fit for human consumption.  

I've taken to talking myself out of the dizzying death spiral when the self doubt surfaces. And it works...for a minute or five.  And then, before I know it, I'm back down at the bottom and the process has to start all over again.  Then I'm calm for a bit, five or ten or sixty minutes.  And then, down I go because I'm absolutely convinced that the the bad is right and the good is wrong.

I am a Pisces.  It is part of my nature.  But that doesn't mean that I can't learn to cope with it.  Right in this moment, I'm in a good place.  Accepting that I am who I am and that I can let go of the self doubt.  

At least until the next time it rears its ugly head.

Progress

I started Sis's birthday blanket this weekend with the one skein of yarn that actually arrived.  I did a quick not real gauge swatch just to get a rough idea of how many stitches per inch there were.  As soon as I cast on, I realized that garter stitch was the way to go.  Because of the "nubbly"ness to the yarn, there is hardly any stitch definition to begin with and that stockinette would get...well, not completely lost but way less defined.  Add to that, I'd have to keep track of whether I was on a knit row or a purl row and I decided that garter was the answer.  Also, I wouldn't have to worry about/deal with the curling that invariably happens with stockinette.  Even though the gauge is fairly loose, it would still curl a bit and I did not want to have to block it.  

I did not, however, get the entire skein worked, which was my goal.  So I have no idea if I have enough yarn ordered.  I got a little side tracked by a nap and then never finished it.  That is on the agenda for sometime this week.  Along with obsessively checking to make sure the yarn will arrive sometime this century.  

My coworker also took the time today to let me know that the lapghan I had made for her was love, love, loved by the recipient.  It was very nice to hear and it turns out this lady is a crafter, too.  She'd never seen that particular kind of yarn so I was able to pass on what it was so she could work with it herself.  That, more than anything, pleased me.  It gives me great joy when I can let another fiber artist know about one of my favorite yarns.  

And speaking of yarns...I'm seriously contemplating taking up spinning.  If I can manage to save enough for a spinning wheel, that is.

Bah!

The yarn order.  I'm not entirely sure why, but I got one skein of yarn yesterday...and the other seven have yet to be shipped.  It makes me nervous that I won't get it with enough time to complete it before Sis's birthday.  She knows something's up, too.  Because I refused to open the box in her presence.  Oh well.  She's not saying anything and neither am I.  

The plan is to start the afghan anyway.  Hopefully, the rest of it will arrive next week sometime and that will give me enough time if I really push myself.  If it's not done, she'll know it's not my fault.  Either way, I know she's just gonna be thrilled!  And that pleases me.  

Also yesterday, I put up a post showing off some of the things I've made in recent years.  Sadly, I'm really really bad about remembering to take pictures of the things I've completed.  One of my goals this year is to now take pictures of everything.  If only so I can look back and fondly remember.  I've made hundreds of things in the last seven years or so...OK, maybe hundreds is an exaggeration.  But not by much.  Half of it, I can't even remember.  And that's the sad part.  In this day and age, with digital cameras and cameras in every phone, it's really too bad and way sad that I don't have photos.  I'm going to try really hard to take pictures for posterity.  

So, in with The Avengers because I can really never watch it too many times, and yarn in my hands.  I'll probably get through the skein pretty quickly, but at least I can work out whether I want to do garter or stockinette...and figure out a gauge.  Ish.  Because I'm not big on gauge swatches but I have no idea how many stitches to cast on, so I need a rough idea.

To the needles!

Some Stuff

Alder so nicely requested a few pics of some projects I've completed.  Since I'm very bad at remembering to take pictures before I give the items away, there are only a few but...here you go!

Sis's Afghan.  She's got a thing for turtles.  So there they are, swimming in the sea

The afghan on my bed..one of the very first things I made when I got back into the yarn

 

Pink Elephant on Parade!

A Giraffe of a different color

Green Lantern hat.  Because Tato is super hero obsessed

The Original Enterprise

This is my Dex in Blue scarf...a pattern I created inspired by Amy Lane's book of the same name

C-Lou's afghan.  It's been up already, but I love it.

Cthlulu!  He's going to eat the world. AAAAHHH!

The beginning of the Tom Baker-esque scarf

My people!  From left to right: Max, Riley, Elliott and Natalie

What I have done of Lyse's afghan so far.  It needs borders

And one of the baby blankets I made this summer!

 And of course, I've already posted Izzy's hat and a couple of ruffle scarves on previous posts.

Time Crunch

I checked on my yarn order today; the homespun thick and quick in blue lagoon colorway for Sis's next birthday blanket.  It's scheduled to arrive on the 14th and I have no doubt it will.  Joann Fabrics is good like that and when I place an order with them, I never worry about when it will arrive.  However, that gives me exactly two weeks until Sis's birthday.  I'm bound and determined that I will have it done for her actual birthday this year instead of...well, 11 months later.  

But the thing is, I wanted to knit it.  Now, I'm a pretty fast knitter these days, ever since I learned the Portuguese style.  But I'm still nowhere near as fast as when I crochet.  Now, if I were crocheting the blanket then a two week deadline would be nothing.  I'd meet that easy with a bit of a push.  But knitting?  I'm not sure I can do it.  It's not going to be anything fancy.  Just garter or stockinette because the yarn is kind of bumpy and does not lend itself to anything more intricate.  It's perfect for the simple stitches because the mottled color and texture don't need anything more.  But I still don't know if I can get it done.

Why knit it, then, you ask.  That's a very good question.  The answer is simple.  Last year's (very) belated gift was crocheted.  And I want her to have something different.  And it's not a yarn that I have knitted before.  I've always crocheted when I've used it.  So, a bit something for me and a bit something for her.  On top of that, I've managed to keep it a resounding secret thus far.  This is a big deal for me, because she tends to weasel things out of me pretty easily.  Or, she makes guesses and my open book face gives it away that she's right.  So, I really want to get it done in time for her birthday and I want to knit it.  

The good thing is, that even if I don't finish it completely, I can wrap it up and present it to her still on the needles and she will be thrilled.  But I really don't want to do that to her.  Last year, all I told her was that her present was coming.  She ended up being with me when I was yarn shopping and she helped me pick out the yarn, acting like she had no idea what was going on.  Until we got in the car and were driving home and she casually says that the yarn we picked looks like the sea and it would be perfect to have turtles swimming in it.  I told her that it would but that wasn't what it was for.  But she called my bluff and waited patiently for another ten months before I actually finished it.  So this year it's very important to me that I have it done for her birthday.  

I take comfort in the fact that it is a very chunky yarn and that I can use really big needles and hopefully, hopefully, it will work up quickly.  Two weeks shouldn't be too much of time crunch, right?

Skeery Place

Sometimes, my brain is a scary place to be.  The things it thinks of all on it's own without any provocation from me is daunting.  I'm not speaking of anything particular.  Just that today, it was bouncing around to so many different places and thoughts and ideas that it was a wonder I didn't drive myself stark raving mad.  And I'm sure that if anyone actually to glimpse the internal workings of my mind they would be shocked and maybe a little appalled.  That's all right though because I'm pretty comfortable with the way it works.  I just wish I could slow it down sometimes.  Or maybe to be able to actually write what I see in there in a way that did it justice..I'd probably be a best selling author.  ☺

In other news, I made my aunt's scarf and it turns out lovely and she adored it.  I ended up just chucking the norm and doing it my way and it all worked out in the end.

I also completed Sis's afghan!  I don't think I mentioned it.  But that was on New Year's Eve.  It's a blue and green variegated background with appliqued turtles on it.  Considering that it was her gift for birthday last year I feel pretty good about getting it done before her birthday this year.   Fool me already has another blanket in the works for this year's present (she's a blanket fiend) but it's made out of the homespun thick and quick so I'm thinking I might finish it a little bit closer to the actual day.  That's the hope, anyway.

Anyway, the big plans for tonight is to dive right into the scary place and see if I can't make some sense of what's been going 'round and 'round my brain all day.  

Hoping for a Quiet Weekend

The weekend again, which is a lovely thing.  

I've spent a great deal of time listening to the voices the past few days.  Not getting a whole lot down on the page, but listening to them nonetheless.  Plotting, if you will.  Seeing if things work.  The plot bunnies have been running rampant and breeding like, well, bunnies.  We'll see what comes of it.  I've adopted a less strict attitude where the voices are concerned.  Maybe a little...lackadaisical?  Let them say what they want and plot and scheme as they will and not try to force anything or get too wrapped up in what should be.  I think that some of the problems I've had where writing is concerned has been caused by the pressure I put on myself.  I'm trying this approach now to see where it leads.  The first step is the listening.  I haven't quite figured out if the muse is happy with this tactic or against it.  Very vocal, of late, my muse.  But I don't know if that's because it's working or because she's angry. 

My beloved Aunt's birthday is tomorrow.  I'm working on a braided scarf.  It's sorta nifty.  Crochet four sections of the same length and then sort of...weave them together.  It looks very cool when done and I have some fabulous homespun hanging out that makes it very cuddly.  

Tato and I were going to see Les Miserable this weekend, but something came up so we're going next instead.  I don't care when, as long as I get to see it.  Les Mis holds a special place in my heart because it was the very first show I ever saw on Broadway.  I was 16.  It is still, to this day, one of the most awesome experiences of my life.  

So, I'm settling in for a quiet weekend, though I do hope it will be productive in the yarn and/or the writing departments.  At the very least, I will finish that scarf!

The New Year

Happy 2013!

I don't do resolutions, really.  Too easy to break.  But I do set up goals and it's really all very simple:

I will endeavor to be the most kind and compassionate person I can be.  I know I will fail sometimes, but that just means I need to remind myself who I'm trying to be, pick myself up, make amends, and try again.

I will attempt to spend not as much time locked up in myself.  This is a hard one.  It's so easy to become complacent and fall into old patterns.  But I will try.

I will be more courageous in certain aspects of my life.  I've wanted to be a published author since I was about seven and I knew what that meant.  This year, I'm going to be brave enough to submit something somewhere.  Even if that means I'll get rejected (the likelihood of that is high), I will send something in.  And only cry a little when it's not picked up.

Big goals, yes.  But I will try my best.

Wishing everyone a year filled with joy and miracles, be they big or small.