I admit it. I'm one of those people. The ones that not only crave praise but also deny and fish and act like it's no big deal just so that I can get more. So that I can hear it again. I know everyone likes to hear a kind word of praise, but seriously, it's like I need it. Even when I'm aware of what I'm doing, trying to get someone to say yet again that I'm awesome, I can't seem to make myself stop. I'm also sure that this is a completely unattractive trait. And yet, I still do it.
I'm trying to be better. Really. But then I get some praise and it's like my soul is starving to hear the words and I fall right back down in the pit of trying to get more.
Today, I was soaking in it. And my insides were glowing with happy because of the shock and awe. And I was standing there, trying to act like it's no big deal, but really I was totally doing a happy dance in my mind, waiting to hear some more good words. I was aware it was happening. And I just couldn't stop myself because that external validation that what I had done was a good thing, an impressive thing, was feeding the pride monster within.
My goal for next time I hear the words of praise and goodness is to simply say thank you instead of saying thank you followed by an attempt to get the person to say it again. I'm going to try very, very hard.
I need external validation. But one comment should be enough, right?
I can identify with this post, Kris! :)
ReplyDeleteDo you praise yourself? External validation is a soothing balm, but to satisfy that starving soul I recommend the Louise Hay technique of looking yourself in the eye in a mirror and giving yourself praise and approval. Plus, when you are praising yourself you don’t have to stop at one word! I found it surprisingly hard to do at first, but it’s worth persevering with.
Her book “You Can Heal Your Life” is the one that I’ve found really helpful.
Thanks for the rec Alder!
DeleteI haven't heard of her but I have heard of the method. And yes, it is rather hard to do. Especially when, 85% of the time, I'm completely happy with my own awesomeness :) It's the rest of the time that I forget that it gets hard.