Fixated

Sometimes, I get stuck.  I have a thought, or someone says something to me, and then I'm stuck there and I can't think about anything else.  I keep playing it over and over again in my mind.  And I cannot get out of the loop.  Sometimes, its good things.  A happy memory or a good emotion and when I get stuck there it keeps me smiling for a good long time and that's nice.  

More often than not, though, it's bad things that I get fixated on.  I suppose, to some extent, that's natural.  But I take it beyond what's normal and let it...fester.

Like yesterday, we were making plans to go to the Renaissance Festival that takes place every summer near here and we go just about every year and I was getting so very excited because Saturday was just a few days away.  I was fixated on the good and I was very happy....and then, just as quickly as plans were coming together, they fell apart because of one person and I got over the top angry about it because how dare that person fuck up my plans and why the hell do we have to revolve our plans around that person anyway?!  Normal, right, those feelings of anger and disappointment?  Except that I got stuck there and the more I thought about it the angrier I got until I was disproportionally upset.  My anger far exceeded the situation...logically I knew there were many more weekends the Fest would be going on and there would be plenty of time to make our trip and spend the day.  Except...

I'm still overly angry about it and I can't seem to let it go.

I'm not entirely sure what that says about me.