Squeeeeee!

I am so in a good place right now and after the morning I had, I'm happy to be here!

I made a boo boo at work.  Something that I have never done in more than five years working in this field.  I nearly had heart failure.  Fortunately, what could have been much badness turned out to be a not so big deal in the end and it all comes down to timing.  So thank the gods and godesses that fate was with me today!

And Toby?  Well, Toby gave me awesome feedback and wonderful insight.  I'm totally riding high on that.  I have decided that he shall be rewarded with yarn.  I don't care what he wants or whose project (probably mine) I have to bump to get it done, he shall have his hearts desire.  I am so very thankful for his insight!  So, hey, stayed tuned for a new project in the works!

And the Fates Smiled

I have procured myself a beta reader.  Someone who is not Sis and not the BFF, who love me and know the way I think and therefore aren't always able to give me the constructive criticism I need to make my writing better.  A friend of Sis's and an acquaintance of mine, he should be able to give me mean ass criticism that I hope won't make me cry.  Toby likes the genre, which is good, and I'm hoping that because we're friendly, but not close, he'll be able to be honest but critical.  It's nerve wracking but also gives me hope.  

But today is not devoted to the words.  Today, I'm working on Lyse's afghan and watching recorded episodes of Dateline: Real Life Mysteries.  Love that show.  The yarn I'm working with, Red Heart Classic, is a little rougher on my fingers than I'm used to lately but the colors are vibrant and wonderful and, once I wash it, will feel heavenly.  Pretty sure that's the sole reason fabric softener was invented.

I love it when a plan comes together!

You're My Inspiration

Warning: The following is a diatribe as to why being a creative and imaginative person sucks.


I have been cursed with gift of imagination.  Yes, I said cursed.  Because, while it often a blessing, it is also the bane of my existence.  I can spend copious amount of time lost in a world where yarn or the voices transport me off this plane and into another.  I can get incredibly focused and determined to see something that was born in my gray matter come to fruition.  Where's the curse come in, you may ask?  It is the simple fact that being imaginative and creative means you get inspired all the time.  And you think, how can this be a bad thing?  Here's the answer: it sucks donkey balls when you are focused and doing something, or you have much on your plate already and then suddenly, bam! from out of nowhere new inspiration strikes.  And then you are left with a quandary.  Do you keep doing what your doing or do you temporarily abandon the project and work on the new inspiration?

I've said that I have to go where the muse takes me and sometimes that's true.  Sometimes you absolutely do not have a choice.  But, see, that often comes with a boat load of guilty.  At least for me.   Because there are so many things that I should be working on I feel all sorts of bad for working on what I want to work on.

Needless to say, as I was perusing the internet today, I discovered a new pattern that I think I want to make for me.  And there is so much that I need to be doing; Lyse's afghan (still not done), Bunny's afghan (haven't even figured out the pattern let alone bought the yarn), my afghan (which is over a yearn in the making) or either one of my current writing projects.  And yet, here my brain goes planning something new and other.  It's frustrating and guilt inducing and I'm going to have to start making an actual physical list of all the things I want to make or I'm going to go stark raving mad.  And also, I need to be independently wealthy so that I can just spend all my day with the words and the yarn and not have to waste my time with silly things like work.


And yes, before you ask, I do realize it's ridiculous to complain about being creative.  And I do know that I would be super pissed off if I lost that.  So, I think I better just go with the list thing and stop complaining. 


<end rant>

Sometimes You Don't Have a Choice

I've been writing a supernatural series for a couple of years now.  The BFF has read it and loves it.  Sis has read it and loves it.  Me?  Well, I love it too, these are my babies, but the editing process is slow because I'm too close to it.  I'm too close to it and can't edit it properly but there is no way it's ready to be submitted, maybe accepted, and have a professional editor do his or her job.  Slowly and surely, I am getting it to that place.

But sometimes, the voices talking in my head are different.  They don't belong in the world that I've already created.  So I let them talk and I listened, but I didn't put the words on the page.  Until yesterday.  Yesterday, finally, I was able to have a jumping off point and the voices are so damn relieved they've been talking incessantly ever since.  I love these new guys and I'm happy that they are getting their story told.  Again, it may not go anywhere.  It may not get to the point where it sees the light of day.  But I have some beta readers lined up and we shall see.

Of course, I feel guilty.  I feel like I'm abandoning the world I so lovingly crafted for a new and shiny toy.  And then a strange and wonderful thought occurred to me.  When I'm making a craft project, when I choose to knit, that does not mean I am abandoning my first love which is crocheting.  When I put down a project to work on something else (because it has a deadline or it's interesting or whatever) that does not mean I'm abandoning it forever.  Just that that project and I need a little break so that I can go back to it later with a fresh eye and a happy heart.  So that there can be the joyous reunion of "dear god, I have missed you!" and "I'm so glad you're back!"  I live for those moments.  

Of course, sometimes I don't have a choice.  With yarn or with writing, I have to go where my muse takes me.  Because the fact of the matter is, it will always take me back again.

Worries been troubling my mind

It seems the worries that have been plaguing me for the last couple of weeks were well founded.  Unfortunately, I can do nothing to help but send all the good thoughts and good vibes I can into the ether.  I believe in the power of positive thinking and I am doing as much of that as I can right now.  Hopefully, those who are struggling will feel the good mojo I'm sending and their burdens can be lightened.  I will do whatever I can for whomever I can.  But for the most part, it's my thoughts and prayers and wishes.  I'm in a good place myself so I have plenty of good to spare.  And I send it out to my friends who are having a rough time.  Things will get better.  I believe it.

I Have Been Remiss

I haven't posted for days and it seems to be something in the air because several authors of blogs that I follow haven't posted either.  And I find myself worried about them, hoping that everything is OK and it is just lack of time and/or/ ambition that has kept them from posting.  Or that, like me, they have felt the need to decompress and veg instead of writing.

So, I shall update my status on the important things:

The Job: is going very well, thank you for asking.  I'm finding my way.  The days continue to move quickly which is a nice change from bored o'clock.  But I do get a few minutes here  and there to space out and think about yarn.  


And with that segue...

I have started Lyse's afghan.  It's about a fifth finished and looking awesome.  I can probably knock it out in not time.  I plan to spend a good portion of Saturday on it so we'll see how far I get. Considering I did the first fifth in just a couple of hours, I should be done before too much longer.  And then I can check that off my list as well.

My dear, sweet Bunny has asked for a lapghan and I found that I absolutely under no circumstances could tell her no.  She never asks for anything at all.  She asked for Zebra pattern and I'll have to spend some time lost in though to make it more interesting that just stripes.  Right now, my head is thinking it will be knitted and involve short rows.  We shall see after I play some.

And this whole time, in the in between, I have been working away on Sis's blanket.  I will need to purchase more yarn before I can complete it though.  Fortunately, my remaining gift card is for the store at which I purchased that yarn.  

So, as always, there is too much time to do and having to go to actual work gets in the way of doing the yarn type things.  Big sigh.  Oh well.  Can't feed my habit if I don't have money to purchase the yarn, right?

Is it Cheating?

With my gift cards (remember I got them as a going away present from work?), I broke down and bought a sock loom.  I have spoken before of the horrible affliction of SSS.  But I have a desperate need to make socks.  It just seems to take a long time and I don't like working on DPNs.  The magic loop method has saved me when it comes to gloves and mittens...but even though I have a plethora of of sock yarn, I haven't been able to make myself actually make socks.  So, I got a sock loom.  And guess what?  It's a lot of fun!

It's not actually any faster, at least not yet.  I've only been playing with it since yesterday evening.  But it came with an instructional DVD so there's no guessing as to how to actually work the sock.  And the short row method for making the heel is so much easier...it uses wrapped stitches.  So instead of working on Lyse's afghan like I should be or even my afghan that I really want done, I've been playing with sock yarn and attempting to make a sock.  I will be sure to keep you updated on the progress.

But part of me worries that its sort of...cheating.  It's knitting but not.  Am I laughing in the face of hundreds (thousands?) of years of tradition by using this method?  I can knit just fine.  It looks good when I do it.  Am I taking the easy way out by using the loom?  That's not to imply that anyone who uses a loom to knit is less than a knitter.  That is not my intent at all. But I've made socks the old fashioned way.  I worry that I will be perceived as cheating by using the loom instead.


And then I tell myself it doesn't matter.  I have a pretty high opinion of myself.  Confidence is not one of the areas I usually lack in (though I do very much enjoy, and sometimes need, validation) and my self-image when it comes to my work is usually bordering on arrogant.  So I tell myself this is just another tool in my arsenal of yarn craft goodness.


I also bought an ergonomic handle with interchangeable crochet hook heads.  I've been wanting one of of those for a very, very long time.  I am well pleased that I have it and am now hoping that the Carpal Tunnel doesn't act up quiet as often.  Shooting pains sure do have a way of taking the fun out of stuff, even yarn. 

The power of 2 words

I had a conversation with Suze today where she explained to me why she was so very upset because someone didn't say thank you to her.  The truth of the matter is that the words thank you are incredibly powerful.  While I don't agree with the fact that she expected the words, the fact that she didn't get them at all is the more troubling aspect.

I believe that thank you's should be given freely.  They should be heartfelt and sincere.  Saying thank you without meaning it sucks the power right out of the words.  I say them often and always mean it.  I say it for someone holding open a door for me, for dropping something off so that I don't have to make an extra trip, for anything where the I am grateful.  And I often get looks of shock and surprise or the comment "You're so polite!"  That is the upsetting part.  Thank you's should be meant, yes, but we should all use those words way more often than we do.  What I'm asking for is simple: when you are grateful, say thank you and mean it.  For the big things and especially for the little things.

And to all of you who take a few seconds out of your days to read this blog believe me when I say Thank You.  I mean it.

Saved by the (lunch) bell

There was a moment today, just a moment, where I was ready to burst into tears.  Half way through the second day on the job and everyone disappears.  Of course, it was exactly in that 120 seconds during which I got stuck on what I was doing AND the phone rings.  That was the tear inducing moment.  For a panicked moment, I had no idea what to do.  I womaned up and answered the phone hoping that I could rely on my previous knowledge to get me through it.  It worked and I was able to muddle through the call.  I was able to then figure out most of my question on my own...and then it was lunchtime!  Everything could be left as it was until I came back.  And then everyone else would be back too.  It all worked out in the end.  But I hated that moment.  

Made my day a little bit when I got to lunch, my friends were there and they were all abuzz wanting to see pictures of C-Lou's afghan looking stellar on the back of her couch.  Of course, lunchtime was over much too quickly and it was back to an afternoon of work.  I was able to wander off in my brain for a few minutes and think about projects to be done.  That's always a splendid usage of my time.

Also spent some quality time with the voices this morning before work.  There are new ones!  I don't know yet where they belong or if they get a new story all together.  We shall see.  Either way, I had to get them out of my head and down on paper or else my brain would explode and I couldn't go into work with an exploded head.  It was a matter of self preservation, those few minutes of writing.  Thank goodness I had time and some paper.  


All in all, despite that 120 seconds of tear inducing panic, it was another good day.  I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it continues.

All Things Considered...

...it was a pretty good day.

Started the new job today.  Had a terrible case of the nerves for about ten minutes.  It helps that I already know the system they use (because I used it at my old job) and I already know most of what goes on (because I did it in my old job).  I also know some of the people that I now work with.  So, it made for a pretty easy day.  And the time actually flew by like it never has before!  That was pretty nice.  

Gave C-Lou her blanket today.  She absolutely loved it.  That gave me the warm and fuzzies; they are still lingering.  I'm very pleased with the way it turned out and I am thrilled that she is happy with it.  When I was finishing it yesterday, it just felt done.  I always listen to my gut about these things.  I have a bit of a knack for that.  It wasn't quite as big as the pattern calls for, but it felt done.  So I finished it off.  And it turns out it was the perfect size.

I'm gonna go ahead and ride the high of today for the rest of the night.  

We have Success!

Finally!  I have completed C-Lou's afghan.  It only took a week longer than the deadline I set for myself...or was it two?  Either way, it has been completed!  Btw, that's one of my kitties, Tobias, in the corner.  He's terribly curious and walked into the shot.

But I'm happy it is finished and I can move on to other projects in the pipeline.  I really like making stuff...I'm not sure if i mentioned that before :D

Of course, there are several things I need to work on and I just have to decide what I'm going to do next.  Really, Lyse's afghan should be next because she got a "gift certificate" for her birthday and I have to deliver that but there are so many things I want to do...I'm just going to have to work on several projects at once.  It's the only way.