Feeling Worthy Again

I've been not great about the posts lately.

I'm sorry for that.

There's been a lot in my live, actually, that I've let go in favor of other things.  And today, it's certainly hitting me with a lack of balance.  I need to get back on track.  I need to budget my time better.   But we all know I'm not great about that.  I'm trying though.  Today, I'm making an effort to make a change.

A week ago, someone said some very hurtful things to me, treated me like I was a piece of trash, and that hurt lingered for a long while.  It's still lingering, if I'm completely honest.  

It's no secret that I can get down on myself.  That I can spiral to the dark place and that I allow self-pity to overwhelm.  I don't need any help getting there.  So, yes, I was down.  I was also angry.  Because it's one thing if I send myself there.  It's another thing entirely for someone else to try and make me feel that way.  In this instance, I got mad as well as sad and it was a dizzying combination.

Because of that, I threw myself into writing mode, because that felt good.  Because I felt accomplished.  Because it made me feel worthy, and not worthless.  The good that came out of that is that I finished a first draft on a novella.  And also plotted out the next book in the series.  That felt so incredibly good.

But I'm feeling the lack of yarn creativity too now.  And as weekend is fast approaching, I've made some decisions about how I hope to spend it.  I hesitate to use the dreaded plan word, and, as you know, I have good reason for that.  But here goes:

There's a sale at my LYS.  After work and a stop at the bank, I intend heading over there.  I need a little yarn shopping therapy.  

I intend to get a couple of my next reviews written this weekend.  

I intend to yarn.

I intend to edit.

And so, I intend to have a very good weekend.  Because doing the things that I love and that I'm good at will remind me that I am worthy.