Spell Break: Part 4

Wait a minute!  Now, how did this get here?  It's certainly not Monday.  Oh well, I guess I better leave it.

The truth of the matter is, I got a little impatient myself to move the story along.  And remember when I said I liked cliff hangers?  Well, five days to leave you hanging is better than seven, right?

Episode four, for your enjoyment.

(Parts 1-3 can be easily accesed by clicking the label in the right hand side bar)

4

Leaving Kelly’s house was harder than Jason had expected it to be. He’d only been there a week but, in that short time, things have changed. He’d grown to care about Kelly in the last year but it had been strictly about friendship. Getting to know him better, sharing space, sharing time, it had all served to deepen Jason’s feelings.

            Everything about Kelly turned Jason’s key.

            Except it was obvious that Kelly was keeping something, something big, from him. If Kelly had said it wasn’t Jason’s business, if the man had flat out told Jason to butt out, that would have been different. But instead, Kelly was evasive and seemed to go out of his way to not explain things. He was an excellent mentor and teacher; Jason had never worried that Kelly was trying to hurt him or steer him wrong. But despite the huge amount of trust Jason felt, there was just a part of him that couldn’t let go. Obviously Kelly didn’t trust him the same way.

            Since that was the case, Jason needed to leave.

            Kelly watched placidly as Jason gathered up his meager belongings. They had gone to his apartment that first day so that Jason could pack a duffel for his short stay. Kelly’s eyes tracked Jason’s steps as he traipsed through the house, gathering up a stray sweatshirt from the living room and his toothbrush from the bathroom. Jason couldn’t look at the other man. If he did, he knew he’d say something he’d end up regretting. Jason didn’t have a great deal of experience when it came to sex but there was no mistaking the look on Kelly’s face sometimes. The man wanted him just as much as Jason wanted Kelly. And he didn’t want Jason to leave. And yet, he made no move to get Jason to stay.

            “I can drive you home,” Kelly offered quietly as Jason made one more pass through to make sure he hadn’t left anything behind.

            Jason shook his head. He wanted a clean break. “I’ll take the bus.”

            “Jay --“

            “No, thank you,” Jason said firmly

            Kelly looked like he was about to say something and Jason’s breath caught. Then Kelly just nodded. Jason’s heart sank. Without a word, he shouldered his bag and slid open the glass door that led to the backyard. He walked straight to the magnificent tree. Like always, it was as if the Alder recognized him and reached out with a comforting magic. He heaved a sigh, soaking it in for what was probably the last time. His heart ached to be leaving Kelly. But this? This tree, with that sense of peace, Jason would truly miss. Strix echoed the thought as he landed on Jason’s shoulder. When Jason had accepted his fill of magic, he placed a hand against the trunk, said his silent goodbye, and walked away.

            Jason went back through the house because it was easier and faster than fighting with the stubborn latch on the gate at the side of the house.  Kelly was nowhere to be seen.  He was almost out the front door, his hand on the knob, when Kelly’s voice stopped him.

            “Wait. Please. Let me drive you.”

            Jason didn’t release the handle but he did drop his forehead to the hard wood in front of him. He sucked in a deep breath. Why couldn’t the man make this easy and just let Jason go?

            “I don’t know what you want from me, Kelly,” Jason said quietly, well aware that he was talking about much more than a ride home.

            “I want you safe,” Kelly’s voice was terse with a vehemence that almost shocked Jason. Kelly was obviously aware that this conversation was about more, too.

            “Why?”

            “I need a reason?” Kelly ground out. Jason remained quiet, his forehead still pressed to the wood, and waited. After several heartbeats, Kelly finally replied, his tone still angry. “We are friends. Isn’t that reason enough?”

            Slowly, Jason straightened and turned around. Kelly wouldn’t meet his eyes and Jason sighed, resigned.

            “No. We’re not. We are so much more than that. Except you say that we can’t be but you won’t tell me why. So I have to assume that you don’t want it.”

            Kelly’s eyes went stormy. “You know that’s not it.”

            “Then why?” The question was ripped from Jason’s throat without his permission and he closed his eyes. He did not want to appear needy. Kelly didn’t deserve his desperation.

            Kelly didn’t say anything and Jason could practically see the man fighting with himself to keep his mouth shut.  Jason didn’t understand why and he wasn’t going to spend the time and energy trying to figure it out.  Relationships were two way streets; Jason couldn’t do this alone.

            “You can’t have it both ways, Kelly.  You can take care of me or you can let me go.  This dance we’re doing?  I’m not wired that way.  With the things I feel for you, it’s got to be all or nothing for me.”

            Kelly crossed the floor in four long strides. His big hands came up to cradle Jason’s face. For a moment, Jason averted his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and focused on Kelly. He nearly gasped at the tenderness in the hazel depths. Whatever emotion he had expected, it hadn’t been that.  Anger, perhaps, at Jason’s obvious ultimatum or at his refusal to cooperate.  But not that.  Jason’s hope soared.  Maybe it was what Kelly needed to hear in order to finally break down that wall and actually talk.

            “Jason, it’s just that there are things in my past that…” He trailed off for a moment and swallowed hard. Jason practically watched the resolve form on Kelly’s face. When the man spoke again, his voice was determined. “I don’t want you hurt. I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to hurt you. My past will do that. It’s too much to lay on you.”

            Jason’s own hands shot up to grip Kelly’s wrists “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that?”

            “No.”

            Jason nodded knowing for sure now that it was hopeless, extracted himself from Kelly’s hold, and walked out the door.

            Strix ruffled his feathers so that his wing stroked across Jason’s cheek, sending soothing thoughts as always. Of course, Strix was also just a bit annoyed with Kelly. Strix clearly thought that if Kelly would stop being an ass about things, then they could stay and hang out with the Alder. The owl really liked that tree.

            He walked quickly, his pace a brisk stride, knowing that the sooner he got to the station, the sooner he could get on a bus home.  Jason found himself passing Any Beans Necessary before he realized it and on impulse, he pulled open the door to the shop. Mary looked up as he entered, and the polite smile fell off her face the instant she saw the bag slung over his shoulder.

            “You’re leaving him,” she said. It wasn’t a question. Jason answered it anyway.

            “There’s nothing to leave.”

            She came bustling around the counter, a mug of coffee in her hand and gestured for him to sit at the table nearby. She put the mug in front of the chair Jason was pulling out and sat hard in the adjacent seat. She looked weary.

            “He’s been falling in love with you for the last year, just from the little bits you’ve shared with him. But ever since you came here…” She trailed off for a moment looking contemplative. Then her head jerked up and her eyes, so much like her brother’s, met Jason’s. “He’s in love with you.”

            “I know,” Jason said.

            Mary’s brow creased. “And you’re leaving him anyway?”

            “There’s nothing to leave,” Jason repeated. He lifted the steaming mug and took a sip, grateful for the way the hot liquid seared down his throat. He shook his head. “He won’t talk to me. And I’m not going to subject myself to a conflict that could be easily resolved if he just opened his damned mouth.”

            Mary nodded like she agreed. “You deserve better than that asshole anyway.”

            Jason’s mouth fall open in surprise. He figured out a week ago that the woman spoke her mind but he was truly surprised that she would say such a thing about her own brother. She wasn’t teasing, that much was clear on her face. She was dead serious and Jason had to wonder why she was not on her brother side on this.

            “Don’t get me wrong,” Mary said quickly as she caught sight of Jason expression. “I love my brother to bits and pieces. But he’s an idiot to let you go just because he won’t talk about what happened when—“

            “Mary,” a deep voice interrupted firmly.

            Jason’s head whipped around until he found the source. Liam and his albino python familiar were striding across the shop. Jason had met the man once in the last week when he had stopped by Kelly’s home. Other than a quick introduction and the swapping of names, Jason hadn’t been given any other information about the man. But from what Jason could piece together, Liam served as Kelly second in command and trusted friend and advisor.

            Mary shot him a scowl that did nothing to impress the giant of a man. But she stood when he neared the table, patted his arm and the python’s head, and then bounced around to the other side of the counter to make him a drink.

            Liam sat in the now vacated seat. He gave Jason an appraising look and reigned in his python when she stretched out in attempt to get at Strix. He pulled her back gently, letting her coil around his forearm, and stroked her head.

“Jezebel,” he admonished firmly.  The snake gave a soft hiss, her forked tongue flicking out, before she settled against the beefy forearm she was wrapped around. 

            Strix didn’t really like her but that was perhaps because she could swallow him whole and without any trouble.  Jason sent some calming thoughts in the direction of his owl but he remained focused on Liam.  He didn’t know what the man wanted and hoped this wasn’t an attempt to try and talk Jason into going back to Kelly’s.  Because it wasn’t going to happen.  As grateful as he was to Kelly for teaching him this last week, he couldn’t stay in that situation without going stark raving mad. 

            “Are you going to let me take you home and ease his mind?” Liam finally asked, straight and to the point.  When Jason narrowed his eyes, Liam let out a small chuckle and held up a placating hand.  “I’ll just drop you off on the street.  I think you did the right thing leaving him.  He’s an idiot.”

            Mary came back with a tall to go cup which she set in front of Liam.  She tossed Jason a smirk, “See?  I told you!”

            Jason hid a snort of laughter by taking another drink from his own cup.  “Some friend and family you two are.”

            Liam’s startling green eyes lit up with laughter of his own.  The amusement didn’t touch his mouth but it was clear in his eyes.  “I’m not going to spill his secrets.  Suffice it to say he did some bad things and made a lot of enemies.  He thinks that will come back to haunt him.  Maybe he’s right.  But he’s not that man anymore, so if he wants to throw away the one person that could be really good for him, I can’t stop him.  Believe me, I’ve tried to talk him into telling you.  He’s a pigheaded fool, if you ask me.”

            The whole thing was said with an affectionate air, so Jason knew that, while Liam meant every word, he wasn’t trying to be mean.  Silently, Jason agreed with the man’s assessment of Kelly.  He knew enough about Kelly to know what he was like.  And people like that?  There was no changing their minds.  Jason knew it was a lost cause to try.  That didn’t diminish the ache in his chest though.  He wanted Kelly to trust him enough to open up, share his secrets, and see where this attraction led.  He knew that wasn’t going to happen.

            It was time to move on.

            Jason gave himself a stern, silent pep talk.  He’d gotten over lost crushes before.  And that was all this was; Kelly had never let it develop into more.  He would always consider Kelly a friend but he wasn’t going to waste anymore time pining for what couldn’t be.  He straightened his shoulders and gave Liam a kind smile before he accepted a ride home.  He told himself it was because after missing the last week of work, he couldn’t really afford the bus fare.  It was in no way, shape or form because he wanted to give Kelly peace of mind. 

            Liam kept up a non-stop chatter on the forty minute ride, but Jason only listened with half an ear.  This whole situation would have been different if Kelly had actually been a woman.  Jason could have parted ways and actually remained friends with Kelly.  But life was never that simple.  He’d opened his heart and gotten it stomped on.  Again.  Damn that man and his pretty eyes and gentle smile!  No, he wasn’t going to think like that.  This had been a good learning experience.  He was better with magic after this last week than he’d been his whole life.  That was due to Kelly and so Kelly could remain a pleasant memory.  A helpful friend.  Jason would just forget the whole knee jerk attraction.  He sighed heavily.  He was thinking in circles.

            Let it go already.

            Jason wasn’t sure whether the thought came his own mind or from Strix, but it was sound advice.  He focused his attention on Liam, joined in the conversation as much as he was able, and was happy to direct the big man toward his apartment building.  There was actually an open space right at the front curb and Liam swung his big SUV into the space with ease.

            “If you want me to come up and help you set the wards, it would be no problem,” Liam said trying to make it sound casual and failing.

            Jason gave a laugh. “No, thanks.”

            Liam leveled him with a assessing gaze. “You sure, kid?”

            “Yeah,” Jason said with a smile  “I got it.  Kelly taught me well.  I can get them up with no problem.”

            Liam looked like he was going to protest for a minute but then he gave a crooked little smile.  “All right.  Suit yourself.”

            Jason hopped down, pulled his duffle from the back seat, and shut the back door with a satisfying bang.  He turned back to give Liam his thanks before he closed the passenger door, but the look on the big man’s face stopped him from saying anything.  For a long moment, Jason watched Liam try to find the words he wanted to say.  Finally, Liam shook his head and blew out a breath.

            “Look,” Liam said slowly.  “What he did was shitty.  He shouldn’t have let you see how much he cared about you if he wasn’t going to do anything about it.”

            Jason felt the pang of his words deep in his chest.  He whole heartedly agreed.  It would have been a hell of a lot easier to get over if he had thought that the attraction had been one sided.  But he made his face as impassive as possible and gave an easy shrug.  “Don’t worry about it.  I’ll survive.”

            He made to shut the door but Liam’s voice stopped him again.  He was holding a little white card in Jason’s direction.  Jason eyed it speculatively but he reached out to take it. He turned it over to see Liam’s name and three different phone numbers scrawled on the front.

            “Look, kid, if you need anything, you can call me.”

            “Thanks,” Jason said, pocketing the card and knowing he would never use it.

            Liam’s gaze narrowed and he looked a little menacing.  “I mean it.  If you get into some kind of trouble you can’t handle, you call me and I’ll bring the Calvary.”

            Jason made his eyes wide in mock shock.  “You’re going to bring a mounted regiment?”

            “Smartass,” Liam grumbled.  But there was amusement shining in his eyes.

            “Does this Calvary include Kelly?” Jason asked softly.  Liam didn’t have to answer for Jason to know the truth.  He shook his head with a rueful smile.  “Thank you, Liam.  I really appreciate it.  But don’t expect it, okay?”

            Liam nodded.  “Take care of yourself, kid.”

            “Yeah.  I will.  You too.”

            Jason was finally able to shut the door.  He hefted his bag up onto his shoulder, waiting for Strix to land on the opposite side, before he trudged up the stairs to his fourth floor apartment.  Each step felt like a hundred.  He kept telling himself he was glad to be home, that he shouldn’t be missing Kelly’s house this much after just one week, and that the whole situation had skewed his perspective.  A good meal, a long, hot shower, and a solid night’s rest, and Jason would be feeling normal again.  He repeated the mantra to himself as he unlocked the heavy door and closed it gently behind him.

            Strix soared off to the perch Jason had made out of birch and affixed to the window frame. Strix, at least, was happy to be home.  As much as he loved perching in the alder, this was his territory and that pleased the tiny owl.  Jason felt himself smiling just a little.  At least one of them was content.

            He crossed to his little kitchenette to get himself a drink of water before he dealt with raising the wards and unpacking.  He reminded himself to once again put his feelings for Kelly aside.  He sighed heavily, placed the glass in the sink, and turned to survey his domain and decide what he would do next.

           Strix’s sudden warning screeching sent panic and dread surged through his veins and Jason barely had time to duck as the front door exploded off its hinges.

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