Soul Bond: Part 5

Once again, it's Monday.  This right here?  Putting up the next episode?  It's the only part of Mondays that I enjoy.

I think I've figured out what to do with Jared...maybe.  We'll see how it all comes out.  That's what happens with the way I'm writing these serials.  I'm discovering things right along with you.  

Click the label if you want to catch up.

Enjoy!

5

            It took the better part of a week before Jared and Liam were able to be apart for any length of time.  It seemed easier on Liam than it did on Jared when they did separate.  Liam had yet to be called to a job site, but he disappeared for several hours at a time for the last several days, leaving Jared to his own devices.  Jared didn’t like it one bit but he did his best to get through it and was incredibly relieved when Liam returned.

             It wasn’t comfortable for Jared when Liam wasn’t close by.  Anxiety started to creep in fairly quickly and, before too long, nearing nervous wreck status.  Just about the point that Jared would be ready to curl up into a ball, crying from overwhelming emotions, Liam would return and pull him into his big, strong arms.  Jared would immediately calm, his world would settle, and he could continue on.  Liam thought that they should continue to test how long and how far they could be apart.  Jared agreed, to some degree ,and Liam never left him if he was feeling particularly anxious or emotionally raw so it was marginally easier to handle.

            Which is why Jared was surprised that Liam was all but shoving him out the door when it was clear Jared didn’t want to leave.  Liam was ignoring all the desperate emotions Jared was pushing at him.  The big man’s face was set as he told Jared to make himself scarce for at least a few hours.  Jared didn’t feel Liam’s emotions as strongly as Liam did his and he couldn’t tell what the other man was thinking or feeling at all.  In the end, the only thing that got Jared out the door was Liam getting firm and, with a little force of will, making Jared go.

            Jared got into his car and sat in the driveway, feeling shaken and confused.  Most of the time, Liam was overly caring and incredibly sweet.  He took care of Jared, made him feel safe, and all but anticipated his needs.  But then he would say or do something like this that made Jared think he was an asshole.  It didn’t happen often but it happened enough that it left Jared feeling confused.  He never knew what would make Liam change and it was unsettling to think that at the drop of a hat, and with seemingly no provocation, he would say something that was a bit snarky or smirk like he was simply tolerating Jared.  He saw Liam act that way on occasion with Kelly and Jason as well.  He never knew if Liam was being serious or if he was trying to be funny.  And if he was, it didn’t always come across like that.  Mostly, it just made Liam sound like an ass.  And Jared never knew how to react.

            Still a bit shaky, Jared headed for Any Beans Necessary.  He was comfortable enough there to kill the requiste few hours and a vanilla chai would go a long way to soothing his rattled nerves. Marvin gave a quack from the seat beside him, indignant about being kicked out of the house and a little pissed that Liam would treat Jared this way.  Jared wanted to reassure the duck that things were okay and that Liam must have a reason, but he wasn’t certain about that himself so he just let Marvin stew on his behalf.

            Mary greeted him warmly when he walked into the shop and, by the time he made it to the counter, she was already pouring his beverage.  He took it with a grateful smile and a soft thank you when she refused his money.  The place was busy, it was a Saturday morning after all, and there was only one table free.  Jared quickly snagged it, sitting hard in the chair before blowing out a breath.  He settled Marvin on the chair next to him before he stripped off his outerwear and wrapped both hands around the steaming mug.  It was snowing again, which Jared found comforting.  He was used to harsh winters.

            Ten minutes later, Jason burst through the door of the shop, his eyes searching, and a big grin stretched his lips when they landed on Jared.  The tiny owl that had been perched on his shoulder immediately took off for a branch that had been nailed to the wall by a high window.  Thinking the man was here to work, Jared was a bit surprised when, instead of heading behind the counter, Jason plopped down into the one remaining chair at Jared’s table.

            “First things first,” Jay said by way of greeting, while pulling off his own coat and a scarf with uneven edges.  It caught Jared’s interest for a moment and he wondered if it was supposed to be like that.  Jay’s voice  refocused his attention.  “Are you all right?”

            Jared blinked.  “Yeah.  Of course.”

            Jay’s eyes narrowed.  He didn’t seem convinced.  “Are you sure?  Liam’s taking good care of you?”

            “Of course he is!” Jared was surprised at his own vehemence.  But he couldn’t help bristle at Jay’s implication.

            The man held up his hands in a placating manner.  “All right!  I’m sorry.  I have no doubt Liam’s caring and attentive.  But I also know how he can be and I needed to check.”

            “You mean how every once in a while he’s kind of asshat?”  The words were out of Jared’s mouth before he even realized he thought them.  Blushing, he dropped his eyes and took a big drink of his tea, not caring that it burned his throat a little on the way down. 

            “Oh, good Lord, what has he done?” Jay asked with a bit of chuckle.

            Jared bit his lip.  He wasn’t sure if he should talk about it. But he was confused and unsettled by the whole thing and Jay seemed to understand at least.  He’d said he knew how Liam could be.  Without making a conscious decision, Jared started talking.  About how Liam’s random snarky jackassery confused the shit out of him and he didn’t know how to deal with it.  Jay listened sympathetically and then nodded.

            “Okay,” Jay said slowly as if he was weighing his words.  “I’m going to do for you what Liam once did for me. You need to talk to him about it.  Really, that’s just how Liam is, throwing out comments that are probably not the most appropriate.  Smirking at inopportune times.  He’s not trying to be an ass, he just sometimes is.”

            Jared let that sink in.  He’d known plenty of people like that in his life and it had never bothered him over much.  So why now, with Liam, was it different?  It was just a personality quirk, albeit not a very attractive one, and he should be grateful that Liam felt he could be himself with Jared. 

            “I mean it.  Talk to him,” Jay’s voice interrupted his thoughts.  “Take it from me; silence kills relationships.  If it makes you this confused and unsettled, tell him about it.  Talk to him.”

            “We don’t…we’re aren’t…We’re not in a relationship,” Jared muttered.  He felt the blush blooming on his cheeks again.

            Jay cocked his head.  “Well, maybe you’re not in that kind of relationship, though I have no idea why not.  But you still have a relationship with him.  And if you leave this between you, without discussing it, it’s just going to breed discontent.  And that will harm you both.”

            “Do you always over emphasize so much?” Jared asked, trying to divert the conversation.  Because the word relationship brought to mind all manner of things that Jared knew he couldn’t have with Liam and he didn’t want to think about that.

            Jay laughed and nodded his head, “When I think what I’m saying is important, I always over emphasize.”

            Jared couldn’t help but join in.  The laughter felt good after the morning he’d had.  Maybe he would talk to Liam about everything.  At the very least, he could possibly get a little insight into the way Liam’s mind worked.  Again, he wished that his side of the bond allowed for better transference.  But he knew that was the nature of the bond; Liam was supposed to have insight into Jared.  The other way around wasn’t as necessary.  But it sure would make things a hell of a lot easier.

            After that, Jay let the subject drop and the topic turned to more mundane things.  As happy as Jared was to have a normal conversation after the last couple of weeks that he had had, he was starting to get antsy.  Being away from Liam was hard enough but now that he had been gone for several hours, the anxiety was starting to make itself known.  He’d done better today than he had previously but finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore and needed to get back to Liam.  Jay seemed to understand completely when Jared made his excuses.  Marvin, who’d been relatively quiet throughout the whole conversation, agreed readily that it was time to go.  He didn’t like it when Jared was this unsettled and he was in favor of anything that made his practitioner calm.  Right now, because of the bond, the only thing that made Jared that way was Liam.

            When Mary had handed him the a to go cup with Liam’s preferred drink on the way out the door, he was ashamed that he hadn’t thought to get it himself.  But she had just smiled and told him that she had known Liam much longer than Jared had and the big man took some getting used to.  It was only after he pulled away that he realized Mary must have saw the distress on his face and called Jason to come talk to him.  He was grateful.  He’d needed to get all that off his chest and Jay had provided good advice.  He would give it proper consideration once he wasn’t feeling so anxious.

            Jared may have broken the speed limit on his way back to Liam’s.        

            Opening the front door was a bit of a challenge with his hands full of duck and coffee, but in the end he managed, even if he’d nearly dropped Marvin, who gave a disgruntled sort of quack and all but demanded to be set down.  Jared grinned and called out Liam’s name.  He knew Liam was home, his truck was in the driveway, and he needed a hug in the worst way.

            “Hey,” Liam said, poking his head out of the sun porch.  “You’re home quicker than I thought you’d be.”

            Home.  That was such a nice word even though Jared knew he couldn’t think like that.  This was a temporary situation.  “I’m sorry, I thought…I was getting—“

            “No, hey, it’s fine,” Liam’s voice was soothing.  His long stride ate up the floor between them and with a few seconds he was standing in front of Jared, his big hands cupping Jared’s face.  “You did well.  I’m proud of you.”

            Jared nodded fast, overwhelmed again.  He thrust the cup in Liam’s direction.  “Here.”

            “Thank you.  This is nice of you.”

            “I didn’t…Mary thought of it, not me,” Jared mumbled, needing to be honest.  It was important that he never lie to Liam.

            “Still, I appreciate it. Come sit down and tell me about your morning so far,” Liam said, nudging him toward the living room.  Jared nearly sighed in relief.  It was the perfect opportunity to bring up the conversation he’d had with Jay and start the difficult talk that he knew they needed to have.  Now that he was in Liam’s presence, Jared was immediately much calmer and, with just a moment’s thought, knew that Jay’s advice had been right. 

            But first…”What’s that sound?”

            Liam cocked is head to the side.  He did confused puppy very well.  Jared wasn’t it buying it when Liam said, all mock innocence, “What sound?”

            “Splashing,” Jared said absently, pulling away and drifting toward the noise.  “Running water and splashing.”

            His ears led him to the sun porch where one corner of Jezebel’s habitat had been rearranged.  It now held a kiddie pool complete with a fountain.  Jared leaned closer to see that Liam had stacked rock in one corner to make a waterfall.  He saw the pump submerged underneath, forcing the water up and out over the top of the rocks and cycling it back again.  The bottom of the pool was covered with sand and several live water plants were planted inside.  It was the perfect home for a duck.  Even if the pool was bright pink and had ponies with rainbow manes running all over it.

            “Liam,” Jared breathed, completely awed.

            “Yeah, well,” Liam said, that bit of snark back in his voice. “Ducks don’t belong in the bathtub.”

            Jared had asked Liam repeatedly if he minded that Jared gave Marvin playtime in the bathtub and Liam had always insisted he didn’t care.  Obviously he had if he had gone to all this trouble to make Marvin an indoor pond.  Jared tried to tamp down his hurt.  If Liam had told the truth he would have come up with another solution. 

            “Hey, why are you upset?” Liam’s voice was soft in his ears as his solid arms wrapped around Jared’s waist.  It was all he could do to not lean against the man.  “I’m sorry about the color.  And the ponies.  There’s not a lot of selection for pools this time of year.”

            Jared shook his head, closing his eyes so the tears couldn’t leak out.  “I don’t care about the color or the ponies.  I’m just sorry that you had to do this.  I could have figured something out if you told me you cared that Marvin was in the bathtub.”

            Liam’s hands were suddenly on his shoulders and Jared was turned so fast that for a second, he was dizzy.  Liam leaned down so that there faces were close together and there was no missing the intensity and sincerity in his eyes when he said, “I didn’t care that Marvin was in the bathtub.  I just thought he would like this better.”

            “Oh.  I—“ Jared cut himself off with a shake of his head.  “You weren’t serious when you said ducks don’t belong in the bathtub.”

            Liam shook his head with a little smile.  “No.  I wasn’t serious.  Is that why you got upset?  Because, I gotta tell you Jared, you’re emotions are spinning so fast I can’t get a handle on them.  You want to sit down and talk with me?  Tell me what’s going on?”

            Jared nodded fast.  Yes, he suddenly really did. 


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