Pride

You all know I have a wild imagination.  My brain goes a hell of a lot of places in a day.  I also have some anxiety issues.  So, sometimes, there's a part of me that is imagining the bad things that could happen.  One of those reoccurring fears that I have is that my boss is suddenly going to call me in with no warning and say "Sorry bitch, but you gotta pack your shit and leave."

For the record, my boss does not talk like that.  It's just, you know, my imagination.

Anyway, last week, my fears were assuaged a whole lot.  The boss comes out of the room where the schedulers live with Ro in tow and say she needs to me too. We go into the conference room and my brain is of course thinking, "Oh shit!  What did I do?!  Why am I in trouble?" even though I knew I hadn't done anything.  At least, I was pretty sure I hadn't.

The boss goes on this long winded explanation about how half of our sites are getting a new computer system and we don't have a choice (they are linked in with another medical group, who are the ones that are actually getting the new system, so we gotta roll with it).  She tells us, Ro and I, that there's going to be a training class and it's going to be for a week and at least five hours a day and that her first thought would be to send Ro because it's mostly going to affect scheduling and she only gets to send one person.  But that's the week that Ro is on vacation.  And that she needs to be able to send someone who can understand both the scheduling and the billing side of it.

The boss turns to me and gives me a sarcastic smile and says "Guess what that means?"

But first I have to learn scheduling.  I can do everything else but that.  She tells Ro that I learn very quickly and that it won't be a problem for me to pick it up.  She says that before too long I'll be the one that can do everything in the office and that they'll all be able to take the day off and I can run the whole place.

I smiled and said of course, but inside, I'm fucking grinning so big.  Once I learn scheduling, I will be the only one who will know how and be able to do everything that goes on in there.  Not to sound pompous, but I think that makes me pretty invaluable.  And I think it means that she really values me and thinks I'm worth the training and resources.  That she thinks I'm worth keeping around.

She needs to send someone who can learn everything that is taught and turn around, come back, and teach it to everyone else.  She needs someone to be the expert at it so that if there are questions, they can be asked and answered.  She needs someone that she has confidence in.  And she chose me.

I know that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but I gotta tel you, I'm feel pretty fucking proud of myself right now.